Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
