**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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