Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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