pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
