Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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