Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
