summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
