just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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