So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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