the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
