Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
