theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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