I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
