You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
