Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
