I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
