I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
