Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
