if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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