Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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