Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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