running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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