I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
