Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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