She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
porn star boner night. come get it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
