we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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