My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
