There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
