She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
