All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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