I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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