Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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