I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
