New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
