pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
