is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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