That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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