Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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