There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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