i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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