Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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