So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
