You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
