So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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