She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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