I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
