so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
