But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
