Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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