guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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