I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
